Zumba Sucks and Shit Just Got Real

Why hello kittens and butterflies...I realize I have not written a post since my 10k throw down but a girl is busy...I promise I will start doing more blogs (bi-weekly or day to day ramblings I haven't decided) Who am I to deprive you of my spastic chatter??

Okay lets start off with a little shake your bon bon.  I have done Zumba before and I LOVED IT.  But it was mostly because the place I went to rocked your mother effin face right the hell off.  Carroll and her wizardy ways at James Barret Pilates and Cycling(click here) studio was so amaze I literally drool over it.  Spin class with inappropriate conversations, Yoga on the deck with mimosas (or coffee if you like non alchy bevvies while working out), and of course ZUMBA...where we would all wear wrap around skirts that jingled to distract us from the ass whoopin' that was about to commence.  It was like my own little slice of fun filled gossipy country club heaven disguised as a gym.  And then it happened...we moved. UGH UGH UGH UGH and I had to go to Gold's Gym...bleck! (I hope you can hear the disdain in my voice for the most disgusting and idiotic gym on the planet...however I need to get my fitness on so I have no choice)  My friend Liz and I have been going for a few weeks now getting our treadmill action on and working it on the row machine and stairmaster etc...but we decided that we need to start trying some classes. Liz has never tried Zumba and I...well...LOVED it so we decided to go.

BIG BIG MISTAKE....BIG. (insert Julia Roberts walking out of the boutique on Rodeo Dr here)

The class was packed and we thought "sweet we can just kick it in the back, learn some dance moves, get our sweat on, and get the hell outta here" Let me tell you...we will NEVER go back.  It sucked. Each song had about 35 dance moves and the instructor whispered to us and would only demonstrate like 1 move...HELLO!!!!  What about the rest?  Liz and I were having eyeball conversations the whole time laughing our asses off(I wish I had a video of this situation)...I didn't sweat a drop and I think the only reason Liz sweat at all was because she was standing underneath the heater.  The instructor was maybe 19 years old wearing some ridiculously slutty sweat suit and a pair of Nikes from 1989 (I had the same pair the first year I played basketball) The whole time she was dancing I kept thinking "I haven't seen one actual Zumba move this entire class"  There was a lot of boobie popping booty shaking duck lip in the mirror action happening.  HELLO I WANTED TO ZUMBA NOT LEARN HOW TO BE A TEENAGE STRIPPER!!!!

 You get the idea...total bullshit

Moving on to things that are actually bad ass and I'm super excited about...went ahead and completed the ol registration on the Rock n Roll Dallas Half Marathon(click here)  My best friend Suzzie and I are going to do this shit up riiiiiiight....and by "doing it right" I mean crawl across cross the finish line, have a beer, take an ice bath, and then run the shit out of the town and get our party on continue the recovery.

At any rate the training process started 5 weeks ago, I have lost 7 lbs, I have 18 weeks of training left and my friend Liz and I will be running in a half marathon in February (I hope) exactly 1 month before the Dallas race.

So yeah...Shit just got real...Confirmation Code: B-A-D-A-S-S-11

I also try to preplan blog posting but its just not happening...the second I try to make a list to plan what I talk about my mind draws a blank...so you will continue to get the unfiltered bullshit that falls from my cabeza (that's head for those of you who are not bilingual like me) 

Laters Baby